Month: June 2019

Say Yes to Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

admin2 Comments

Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on November 27, 2017

Mark Twain once said “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” He was trying to tell us that there is more to life than what can be gleaned from the classroom.

Life is about experiences!

I believe that this is just as true today and more so as a military spouse who is getting ready to PCS overseas.

When my spouse was assigned to Korea, the kids and I had to remain stateside. We missed him terribly but anticipated the day we could visit. That moment came in December. We planned a 3-week tour so we could fully experience the culture.

Both children, picky eaters at the time, delighted in finding Burger King in Seoul. We had the tastiest chicken nuggets ever.

After that, the kids were willing to try a traditional restaurant. They loved sitting on the floor! And after trying traditional foods, they wanted more kimchi when it was offered.

My husband wanted to take us to an antique shop out in the country. For the first time in a while, the kids didn’t balk at driving somewhere. When we arrived, we found the proprietor who offered to show us around. This retired history teacher sat at small propane heater and talked to the children while I perused the furniture.

I found a 19thcentury Tibetan Buddhist altar that I fell in love with. The owner told the story of its provenance to us which made it all the more special.

It has become a multipurpose piece of furniture. I have used it in the bedroom for clothes storage and I’ve used it in the dining room to keep our fine china or as a bar.

Say Yes To Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

Even though we didn’t live in Korea, those 3 weeks gave us a taste of life in a place we may never have seen on our own.

[Tweet “Military life is about new experiences and stepping outside your comfort zone.”]

More than 10 years later, we once again had the honor of being assigned overseas. This time we landed on the European continent in Belgium.

My spouse and I hail from New England so I walk fast, I talk fast, and I’m always on full throttle. After my spouse picked us up at the airport, he drove us to the Gran Place in downtown Mons.

Immediately, I had to decelerate my whole being because the only fast lane is on the highway. The waiter came over, took our order and then left us alone. No one pestered us to leave but then again, no one was refilling my water glass either. The message is clear:

“Slow down and take time to smell the roses.”

Eventually my temperament changed and I learned to enjoy the things around me.

Say Yes To Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

We made the decision to not live on base. If we were living in Europe, then we were LIVING in Europe.

We lived in the French speaking part of Belgium where agriculture is the main way of life. I am a city girl and I envisioned myself miserable for our 3 years. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

There were cows in the field behind us, a goat next door and an orchard at the end of the road. All of that just added to the beauty of our location and I came to savor the tranquility.

An egg man came by our house once a week to deliver eggs. If you’ve never tried an unrefrigerated fresh egg, you don’t know what you are missing. The color is amazing and the taste is as equally awesome.

[Tweet “We decided to not live on base. If we were living in Europe, then we were LIVING in Europe.”]

Say Yes To Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

The longer we remained in Europe, the more I collected lessons and learned new things.

I’d always been a history buff but visiting cities around the continent made those book lessons a reality. As you meander through Rome, you can’t help but find history alive at every turn. Reading about peasants worshiping in medieval churches is nothing in comparison to wandering around those same churches. You start to truly understand the mindset of the people from that time.

My daughter and I planned a girls trip to Budapest one weekend. After we settled into the hotel, we were hungry so we asked the concierge where to go. He directed us to a restaurant on the Pest side of the city.

When we arrived, we noticed a plethora of Mercedes and men dressed like secret service or the Mafia. We took a chance and sat down.

My daughter ordered an appetizer, rabbit stew and dessert as well as a few sodas. I also chose an appetizer, had the Hungarian goulash, dessert and a few glasses of wine. Everything was delicious.

When the bill came, the host asked if we’d like it in Euros instead. Of course, that’s the currency we were familiar with. Imagine our surprise when the whole thing came to €20! We had a fabulous meal with entertainment and we experienced a little of life in a former communist country.

All of these examples just go to show you that life is better when you take some chances and step outside your comfort zone.

By embracing your new location and trying new things, you will learn more about yourself as well as your host country. Don’t immediately revert back to your usual. When you don’t, you collect stories and experiences that will enrich your life tenfold.

Why I Said Yes to a Family Pet

admin

Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on November 23, 2017

Why I Said Yes To A Family Pet

“I want another dog,” I told my husband. My dog had died and I was feeling the desire to have another companion.

I got Coquina after I graduated high school and she died just before her 16thbirthday. When my husband left a month before me to start training in Florida, Cokey and I drove from Nebraska to Tyndall AFB. I sang to her and talked to her to keep me occupied during the long drive. I was especially grateful to have her to talk to during a flash thunderstorm in Florida.

But still I was late to get her to the airport so she could stay with my mom during the few months we’d be there. As newlyweds we couldn’t afford to book another flight so I drove like a madwoman on the slippery roads to meet the deadline. Stress would have to wait.

She was there to greet our oldest when we brought him home from the hospital. And when our daughter arrived, she knew the drill. She moved with us each time and took the trek like a champ, even though she hated car rides.

Even at the end of her life, she still barked at my husband when he kissed me.

She was MY dog but she had been a part of my children’s lives for 10 years.

Now I wanted another pet. In the interim, my kids had worked to earn themselves gerbils. They too wanted a pet but initially I wasn’t ready for another dog. My son really wanted a snake but since I would be the one home with it and I’m petrified of snakes, I put the kibosh on THAT idea.

When we moved again, there were no pets allowed in the rental house. Just like a child, when you can’t have something, that’s when you really want it. After a few months in the house, I wanted another dog. And as much as I wanted a dog for me, I wanted a dog for our family.

[Tweet “As much as I wanted a dog for me, I wanted a dog for our family.”]

Why I Said Yes To A Family Pet

Having a pet is a constant in a military child’s life. No matter where we moved to, the kids would have their mom and their pet. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dog, a cat, a hamster or a lizard. What matters is that the child has something to either call his own or has a stake in. Years ago, that’s what I thought.

And it turns out I was right.

A study in 2009 showed that children with pets were less worried about a movethan those without. A pet provides children with “comfort, support, and stability.”

I like to think that it really has to do with giving them animmediate friend wherever they are. That friend doesn’t talk back and understands what they are going through. It also gives them a job to do during the chaos we call “unpacking.”

There have also been studies that show that pets help military children with stressand give them a coping mechanismtoo.

We know that petting a dog or horse has a calming effect on people but there are benefits to owning any animal. Not only is their pet a constant in their lives, but that animal also listens to them as they work out problems in their lives.

[Tweet “Our pets are part of our military family and they provide comfort to our military kids.”]

Having an animal gives the child a topic of conversation when meeting new classmates. That to me is another positive to animal ownership.

We bought a dog even before we knew about these studies. We actually got two; one per child. We adopted them in the summer after we moved so the kids had time to walk them every day. They explored their new neighborhood and met the peoplewho lived there.

It also gave them a chance to bond with each other. They were 10 and 12 at this point so they weren’t spending time together like they used to. Now they had a common gripe – chores associated with an animal.

Why I Said Yes To A Family Pet

For the record, there are reasons to not get a family pet. For some, the costis an issue. Dogs and cats are notorious for their vet bills. On-base vet clinics alleviate some of that cost but it still has an impact on your pocketbook.

For others, there are allergies to contend with. We know there are ways around that roadblock but that depends on how badly you want that animal. Just remember that dogs aren’t the only animals out there.

We found that having a dog was perfect for our military family.

The benefits far outweighed the negatives. Even though we moaned and groaned each time we had to stop during our cross-country move because the dog was going to be sick or the kids hated sharing a back seat with said dog, we were happy once we reached our destination.

And even when I complained that the flea and tick medicine was insanely expensive, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.

Our pets are part of our military family and that’s all that matters.