Month: July 2019

Confession: PCSing is Bad for My Health

admin

Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on April 2, 2018

There are many reasons peoplecomplain about PCSing. Some comment that the moves comes too frequently. Others bemoan the time and energy involved. Still more note that their household goods get ruined. Me? I find that I’m failing to take care of myself.

That’s why I’m declaring that PCSing is bad for my health!

I went to the doctor the other day for an issue with my foot. It had been a problem for a long while, so I finally did the grown-up thing and called to get an appointment. While there, I realized that my birthday was coming up and so I should probably schedule a mammogram. The first question they ask you is, “When was your last one?” I replied that it was last May. I thought I was doing pretty well considering it was October. But when the receptionist asked where I last had the procedure done, I realized that it was at our last base. And that means that it was more than a year and a half ago.

When I'm PCSing, there are WAY more pressing things to do than to find a doctor or schedule a dentist appointment.

The realization dawned on me that this is not the first time that my health care has gone by the wayside.

Every time I move, there are more pressing things to do than to find a doctor.

Where is the grocery store? Down the street. Is it closer than the commissary? Is it worth the drive? Starbucks? Gotta find the closest one!

But ultimately, I know that first and foremost is unpacking my household goods. I find myself putting items away at a blistering speed. I hate the sight of all those boxes and paper lying around the house. By the weekend, I’m pestering my spouse to hang pictures and curtains. If I had my way, every box would be unpacked by that first weekend.

Then I must enroll the kids in school. With that comes all the secondary tasks to go along with it. If it’s the summer, I have to still buy school supplies and new clothes. Like many of us, I wouldn’t buy notebooks and pencils beforehand because that’s just one more thing to pack or keep track of. Then there’s the job of keeping them occupied while I wait for school to start.

I also need to schedule THEM for a school physical and that is a herculean task considering all of the students who have been at our new location have scheduled their exam much earlier so the pickings are slim at the base hospital. Do I dare try a walk-in clinic or do I rearrange all those well-laid summer plans to take the first available appointment? Each time it seems like I make the wrong choice but c’est la vie! Check that box off!

Next on my list is finding a dentistfor the family. Here is where I find I can put myself in the mix. But of course, there are no appointments for a month out. Add that to the fact that it took a month or two to get to this point in my PCS move and I’m now three to four months past my regularly scheduled time.

But hey, that’s better than a year and a half, right?

Now the kids are in school, the house is unpacked, and I can go on with my life. When I worked full-time, the days were occupied with that and when I was done, I’d fill the rest of my time with the kids and their activities. Working part-time usually meant that I clocked in, worked, clocked out and then ran errands or volunteered until it was time for the kids to come home from school. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I filled my days with tasks that revolved around the kids.

In each scenario, I was my last priority.

Even though I nagged my spouse to see a physician at every issue, I didn’t do the same. Nor did I worry about yearly physicals for him since he is required to do so. I marked that as a small victory; I wasn’t responsible for that task.

When I'm PCSing, there are WAY more pressing things to do than to find a doctor or schedule a dentist appointment.

Just like the NyQuil commercial that says “Moms don’t take sick days,” I don’t take sick days. And since I don’t take time off for colds, I don’t go to the doctor often. That translates into never calling the doctor’s office.

And that means that I forget to make appointments for my well-being.

The only positive result of my neglect is that the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend that you get a pap smear every three years. But I can’t get too excited. They still require that I see my OB every year. My little victory is still a failure.

The moral of my tale is don’t be like me.

Moving around the country or the world is a great experience and I need to be healthy to enjoy it.

Next time I PCS, the order of importance is: Find a Starbucks, call the doctor, and then get to the commissary! (I can only improve so much.)

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

admin

Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on March 30, 2018

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life. And after taking an informal poll of seasoned spousesfrom across the military services, I found that there are 8 events that every military spouse or significant other should experience (at least once).

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Enlistment/Re-enlistment/Commissioning

While this is an understated affair without most of the pomp and circumstance, it is still an important event in every enlisted service member’s career. There is at least an officer, a flag and the person taking the oath. What makes this event special is the fact that there is a person who is willing to defend our country. If it is a re-enlistment, that person has again committed themselves to our nation.

Promotion

A promotion is an advance in rank and shows the ability of that person to perform at the next rank. The highlight is when the person has his or her rank pinned-on. Most kids have fun with this step, especially if they get to punch on the new rank. As with the previous event, the size can range from small to a huge party.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Graduation

There are various types of graduations out there in the military. For the enlisted side of the house, their first introduction into the ranks is graduation from Basic Training. Seeing those troops march across the parade field is a feeling like none other. And for those SOs, it may be the first time they are introduced to the military. Welcome!

Then there is graduation from various training schools. These are similar to a high school or college graduation in terms of speakers and walking across the stage to receive a diploma. I’m not trying to diminish the impact but it would help if you knew what to expect.

If you want something with more pizzazz, try to attend a service academy graduation. This is a multi-day celebration with parades, fly-overs, ceremonies, as well as the actual graduation. I’ve been lucky enough to see one before I was married, and I’ll have the privilege of attending another when my daughter graduates in 2019.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Change of Command

I’m sorry to say that I hadn’t attended one of these until my spouse took command but I wish I had. It is extremely impressive to see all the troops lined up in the back of the room during the ceremony. Also, you get to hear all the great things that the people are doing in that environment as well as the history of the unit. And if you’re super lucky, there is a huge American flag hanging in the background. If that doesn’t make you sing your branch’s song louder, I don’t know what will.

Homecoming

Nothing says “military” like watching the troops come home. We’ve all seen the videos and the photos from these military homecomingsbut the emotion is palpable when there in person. My kids loved making signs for their dad. And the anticipation that the day was finally here was almost too much for them. It is exhilarating to see them come off their transport.

But don’t forget that you don’t need to have a loved one deployed to attend one. You can go and support those spouses or SOs who do. As an example, you can take photos of the event for them so they can concentrate on giving that person a big hug and kiss when they see them.

Socials

Many spouses will tell you that nothing fosters a sense of belonging in this spread out communitylike a social. These can range from coffees to unit events to straight up parties. This is a great way to meet and know others in the same boat. But don’t feel pressured to attend; there is no requirement to do so.

When I finally decided to attend an event, I stuck to my spouse like glue. It wasn’t until a few years later that I finally felt comfortable enough to spread my wings on my own. Just remember: if you would/wouldn’t do something in the civilian world, the same applies to military life.

Retirement

To me, this is the saddest/happiest occasion ever. It doesn’t matter if I knew the person or not. People come from near and far to celebrate the person who is retiring. Major events are recapped and then there can be a flag folding ceremony. This is where I lose it. As a spouse, you understand how lucky that person was to be receiving a flag while alive; you are grateful for that.

In spite of all the somberness, there can be levity too. This may come during the stories told about that person. I usually find that when the spouses come up to receive their retirement pin, they try to diffuse the situation. Once, I heard a spouse call to her husband at the end, “RTB!” Which means “return to base.” She was ready for her spouse to be home.

Military Ball/Dining Out

To counter the last number, you have to recognize that a military ballis something to behold. This is a chance for you to dress up in formal wear and enjoy a night out. There is a cocktail hour beforehand and dancing at the end. In between, there is eating, socializing and listening to the speaker. And having your spouse in uniform? I don’t know that there’s anything better.

Even though I’ve listed 8 events, there are, of course, many others to experience. They range from volunteering to visiting a military cemetery. You are a part of something bigger when you marry into the military so take advantage of the special opportunities you have. You’ll remember why your spouse is doing this and you may feel a part of it too.