married to the military

My Holiday Wish For All Military Spouses

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on December 6, 2017

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job, great friends and an ideal location.

Even if you haven’t gotten there yet, enjoy the ride that you’re on.

I found that reflecting on what you have achieved helps make military life easier.

A Job You Love

Our first assignment was in Nebraska. For a New England girl, this sounded like a death sentence. Upon arrival, I was able to secure a job coaching cheerleading and that led to a job teaching – my ultimate goal. This first job out of college was ideal as it combined two of my favorite things.

I disliked the fact that my spouse had shift work, but I found joy in my work.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

When we moved to Alabama, I found full-time work as an ESL teacher at a local university. The majority of my students were from Korea who constantly regaled me with stories of life in their home country. I taught them from our curriculum, but I also had the opportunity to calm them during a tornado. We had lived in Tornado Alley for quite a few years, so my experiences helped them endure this new phenomenon.

Military Friends Who Are Like Family

Oklahoma initially felt miserable; the heat, the blow dryer wind, the flatlands. But then I met some wonderful people. We would have get-togethers almost every weekend. Even though they worked and I was a new momwho stayed at home, we found time to share our lives outside of the military confines. I finally understood how military friends could become family.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

In Georgia, I met a wonderful civilian woman. We met at my daughter’s gymnastics class. Our girls were the same age and our sons bonded while waiting for classes to finish. We too, found that we clicked right away. They lived 30 minutes away from us but having a “required” meeting date every week helped us get closer. The best indicator that we had a great bond was the fact that they came out to Vegas to visit us. That is friendship.

Living At My Dream Location

The metropolitan D.C. area was one of my dream locations. I foolheartedly thought every other aspect would magically appear.

It didn’t.

So, I simply explored the town and all it had to offer. I rode the metro to the Mall and visited the museums. The kids and I attended concerts all over town.

The city was perfect in that respect. I took the time to relish my town and the surrounding areas.

Dream Location + Rewarding Job

Once I landed in Belgium, I knew that I belonged there. I wanted to live overseas since I was a small child. A week or so after I settled in, I walked over to the language school and applied for a job. I began a few weeks later.

The schedule for my school and my daughter’s school lined up so I didn’t need to take time off to travel. We went sightseeing every month and explored our new country and its surrounding towns.

I soaked up every ounce of culture I could. The curriculum was left up to me so I let the students drive the content. Those factors combined to make this one of my top stops.

Welcoming Community + Warm Climate

Nevada was another ideal location for me: We would live in a desert and I hated the cold. Again, I found friends through my kids.

And even though I thoroughly resisted being involved with the small squadron we were assigned to, I found myself enjoying the company of the spouses I met.

My “call sign” was Casper as in “Casper the Friendly Ghost” since they thought I was a great person but I was never around. I worked while I was out there too but my job was my job and nothing that I derived great pleasure from. Again, it’s easy to find joy when multiple parts align.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

My Holiday Wish For All Military Spouses

When You Find Yourself At Your Favorite Location Surrounded By Great People And Fulfilling Your Purpose

On our last assignment to Oklahoma, I found that I had come to love the location where my children were born and we’d spend most of our career. It helped that the city had prospered in the last few years too.

We had to live on base. This would be the first time that had happened in our 20+ years. I was initially not happy but that emotion changed when I met our neighbors.

My “job” was as a commander’s spouse. While this wasn’t a paid position, I eventually embraced my decision to be involved in all aspects of military life. I loved participating in ceremonies and parties. I volunteered at the thrift shop and met more wonderful people.

Those 2 years were perfection.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

I’ve never been at a place where I hated my location but had a great job and friends. The journey isn’t over so maybe I’ll find this combination eventually.

So again, I wish for all military spouses to take joy in what they have and I hope that you too can realize the dream of having it all. If you’ve accomplished this goal, tell us about it.

You Know You’re An Air Force Spouse When….

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on August 30, 2018

Some people say you become an Air Force spouse when you say, “I do.”

I don’t think that slipping on a wedding band makes you an Air Force spouse.

You Know You're An Air Force Spouse When

Sure, you become a part of the Air Force family but you aren’t fully immersed in the Air Force culture until you’ve spoken these five phrases. They are earworms that embed themselves deeply into your conscience.

When I was newly married to my airman, I swore that I wouldn’t succumb to these military terms. After all, the Air Force was his life and I had my civilian existence.

Eventually these five Air Force phrases weaseled their way into my daily vocabulary.

You too will have no choice but to surrender to the fact that you are one of us. It may take time, but you will get there.

You Know You're An Air Force Spouse When

You Know You’re An Air Force Spouse When You Find Yourself Saying These 5 Phrases

“Roger That”/ “Copy That”

This phrase is used to let the speaker know that you have understood what they said. It’s another way of telling them that the message was received. While it may be such a simple phrase, it is one that is effective in any situation.

 “Can you pick up my dry cleaning after work?”

Roger that.

“My new work number is 555-5555.”

Copy that.

You know you are an Air Force spouse when “roger that” becomes part of your regular speech.

“Standby”

This word is used to let someone know that you need a pause in the conversation.

Your airman will use it while on the phone to put someone on hold and I found myself using this more when I had kids. I would pair it with a hand gesture to accentuate the point.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used this at work too. Of course, the receiver has no idea what I’m saying.

I’m not using “standby” to be rude.

It has just become a verbal tic for me.

“I’d like to make an appointment,” I tell the medic on the phone. He says “standby” because someone has approached the counter.

“Visual”

This phrase is an indicator that you have seen what is being pointed out. In Air Force-speak, there is a difference between seeing a “friendly” and an “enemy.” An enemy would be “tally.”

Most Air Force spouses will only use the term “visual” although I’m not sure why. There have been times where I used it to talk about someone I really didn’t want to see (Any of my friends who are reading this, I wasn’t talking about you).

And don’t think that you’ll only use it while driving. Oh no.

You’ll use it in all facets of life.

“I’m walking toward your building. Which one is it again?”

“The second one on the left.”

“OK. I have a visual.”

“Where is our daughter? Do you have a visual?”

“Not yet. Oh, wait. There she is.”

“Charlie Foxtrot”

This was one of my favorites as well as “SNAFU.” Most people realize that this is using the NATO alphabet to identify when something has gone horribly wrong.

In other words, it’s a clusterfuck.

You use “Charlie Foxtrot” to be more PC or if there are little ears around and you don’t want them to understand what you are saying.

I’ve been married to the military for far too long and so I used to use “SNAFU,” which is an acronym for “Situation normal, all fucked up.” That phrase was easy to use around children. They could glean what it meant but didn’t realize that the acronym used words that they shouldn’t say.

“Everything went wrong at work today. The whole day was a Charlie Foxtrot.”

“I hit a SNAFU during my presentation. It went downhill from there.”

Wild Blue Yonder

You have truly become enmeshed in the military lifestyle when you have memorized the words to the Air Force song. I don’t mean that you know the tune and you can follow along with the words in your program.

No, I’m talking full up memorization.

Bonus points if you add in the extra phrases that aren’t explicitly written in.

Extra points if you include the arm motions. If you have no idea what I mean, you’ve obviously just gotten married to an airman. Otherwise you know what these are and when to add them to the song.

The transformation from “married to the Air Force” to “fully submerged” may be quick or it may slowly seep its way in. Either way, welcome to the family. We’re glad you’re here.

We need people like you and you can totally sit with us!