Military family

My Holiday Wish For All Military Spouses

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on December 6, 2017

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job, great friends and an ideal location.

Even if you haven’t gotten there yet, enjoy the ride that you’re on.

I found that reflecting on what you have achieved helps make military life easier.

A Job You Love

Our first assignment was in Nebraska. For a New England girl, this sounded like a death sentence. Upon arrival, I was able to secure a job coaching cheerleading and that led to a job teaching – my ultimate goal. This first job out of college was ideal as it combined two of my favorite things.

I disliked the fact that my spouse had shift work, but I found joy in my work.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

When we moved to Alabama, I found full-time work as an ESL teacher at a local university. The majority of my students were from Korea who constantly regaled me with stories of life in their home country. I taught them from our curriculum, but I also had the opportunity to calm them during a tornado. We had lived in Tornado Alley for quite a few years, so my experiences helped them endure this new phenomenon.

Military Friends Who Are Like Family

Oklahoma initially felt miserable; the heat, the blow dryer wind, the flatlands. But then I met some wonderful people. We would have get-togethers almost every weekend. Even though they worked and I was a new momwho stayed at home, we found time to share our lives outside of the military confines. I finally understood how military friends could become family.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

In Georgia, I met a wonderful civilian woman. We met at my daughter’s gymnastics class. Our girls were the same age and our sons bonded while waiting for classes to finish. We too, found that we clicked right away. They lived 30 minutes away from us but having a “required” meeting date every week helped us get closer. The best indicator that we had a great bond was the fact that they came out to Vegas to visit us. That is friendship.

Living At My Dream Location

The metropolitan D.C. area was one of my dream locations. I foolheartedly thought every other aspect would magically appear.

It didn’t.

So, I simply explored the town and all it had to offer. I rode the metro to the Mall and visited the museums. The kids and I attended concerts all over town.

The city was perfect in that respect. I took the time to relish my town and the surrounding areas.

Dream Location + Rewarding Job

Once I landed in Belgium, I knew that I belonged there. I wanted to live overseas since I was a small child. A week or so after I settled in, I walked over to the language school and applied for a job. I began a few weeks later.

The schedule for my school and my daughter’s school lined up so I didn’t need to take time off to travel. We went sightseeing every month and explored our new country and its surrounding towns.

I soaked up every ounce of culture I could. The curriculum was left up to me so I let the students drive the content. Those factors combined to make this one of my top stops.

Welcoming Community + Warm Climate

Nevada was another ideal location for me: We would live in a desert and I hated the cold. Again, I found friends through my kids.

And even though I thoroughly resisted being involved with the small squadron we were assigned to, I found myself enjoying the company of the spouses I met.

My “call sign” was Casper as in “Casper the Friendly Ghost” since they thought I was a great person but I was never around. I worked while I was out there too but my job was my job and nothing that I derived great pleasure from. Again, it’s easy to find joy when multiple parts align.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

My Holiday Wish For All Military Spouses

When You Find Yourself At Your Favorite Location Surrounded By Great People And Fulfilling Your Purpose

On our last assignment to Oklahoma, I found that I had come to love the location where my children were born and we’d spend most of our career. It helped that the city had prospered in the last few years too.

We had to live on base. This would be the first time that had happened in our 20+ years. I was initially not happy but that emotion changed when I met our neighbors.

My “job” was as a commander’s spouse. While this wasn’t a paid position, I eventually embraced my decision to be involved in all aspects of military life. I loved participating in ceremonies and parties. I volunteered at the thrift shop and met more wonderful people.

Those 2 years were perfection.

I have one wish for all military spouses this holiday season. I hope you experience the double rainbow unicorn, the one trifecta of military life that I’ve finally achieved: the perfect job (for yourself or your spouse), great friends and an ideal location.

I’ve never been at a place where I hated my location but had a great job and friends. The journey isn’t over so maybe I’ll find this combination eventually.

So again, I wish for all military spouses to take joy in what they have and I hope that you too can realize the dream of having it all. If you’ve accomplished this goal, tell us about it.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on March 30, 2018

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life. And after taking an informal poll of seasoned spousesfrom across the military services, I found that there are 8 events that every military spouse or significant other should experience (at least once).

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Enlistment/Re-enlistment/Commissioning

While this is an understated affair without most of the pomp and circumstance, it is still an important event in every enlisted service member’s career. There is at least an officer, a flag and the person taking the oath. What makes this event special is the fact that there is a person who is willing to defend our country. If it is a re-enlistment, that person has again committed themselves to our nation.

Promotion

A promotion is an advance in rank and shows the ability of that person to perform at the next rank. The highlight is when the person has his or her rank pinned-on. Most kids have fun with this step, especially if they get to punch on the new rank. As with the previous event, the size can range from small to a huge party.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Graduation

There are various types of graduations out there in the military. For the enlisted side of the house, their first introduction into the ranks is graduation from Basic Training. Seeing those troops march across the parade field is a feeling like none other. And for those SOs, it may be the first time they are introduced to the military. Welcome!

Then there is graduation from various training schools. These are similar to a high school or college graduation in terms of speakers and walking across the stage to receive a diploma. I’m not trying to diminish the impact but it would help if you knew what to expect.

If you want something with more pizzazz, try to attend a service academy graduation. This is a multi-day celebration with parades, fly-overs, ceremonies, as well as the actual graduation. I’ve been lucky enough to see one before I was married, and I’ll have the privilege of attending another when my daughter graduates in 2019.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Change of Command

I’m sorry to say that I hadn’t attended one of these until my spouse took command but I wish I had. It is extremely impressive to see all the troops lined up in the back of the room during the ceremony. Also, you get to hear all the great things that the people are doing in that environment as well as the history of the unit. And if you’re super lucky, there is a huge American flag hanging in the background. If that doesn’t make you sing your branch’s song louder, I don’t know what will.

Homecoming

Nothing says “military” like watching the troops come home. We’ve all seen the videos and the photos from these military homecomingsbut the emotion is palpable when there in person. My kids loved making signs for their dad. And the anticipation that the day was finally here was almost too much for them. It is exhilarating to see them come off their transport.

But don’t forget that you don’t need to have a loved one deployed to attend one. You can go and support those spouses or SOs who do. As an example, you can take photos of the event for them so they can concentrate on giving that person a big hug and kiss when they see them.

Socials

Many spouses will tell you that nothing fosters a sense of belonging in this spread out communitylike a social. These can range from coffees to unit events to straight up parties. This is a great way to meet and know others in the same boat. But don’t feel pressured to attend; there is no requirement to do so.

When I finally decided to attend an event, I stuck to my spouse like glue. It wasn’t until a few years later that I finally felt comfortable enough to spread my wings on my own. Just remember: if you would/wouldn’t do something in the civilian world, the same applies to military life.

Retirement

To me, this is the saddest/happiest occasion ever. It doesn’t matter if I knew the person or not. People come from near and far to celebrate the person who is retiring. Major events are recapped and then there can be a flag folding ceremony. This is where I lose it. As a spouse, you understand how lucky that person was to be receiving a flag while alive; you are grateful for that.

In spite of all the somberness, there can be levity too. This may come during the stories told about that person. I usually find that when the spouses come up to receive their retirement pin, they try to diffuse the situation. Once, I heard a spouse call to her husband at the end, “RTB!” Which means “return to base.” She was ready for her spouse to be home.

Military Ball/Dining Out

To counter the last number, you have to recognize that a military ballis something to behold. This is a chance for you to dress up in formal wear and enjoy a night out. There is a cocktail hour beforehand and dancing at the end. In between, there is eating, socializing and listening to the speaker. And having your spouse in uniform? I don’t know that there’s anything better.

Even though I’ve listed 8 events, there are, of course, many others to experience. They range from volunteering to visiting a military cemetery. You are a part of something bigger when you marry into the military so take advantage of the special opportunities you have. You’ll remember why your spouse is doing this and you may feel a part of it too.