military life

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on March 30, 2018

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life. And after taking an informal poll of seasoned spousesfrom across the military services, I found that there are 8 events that every military spouse or significant other should experience (at least once).

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Enlistment/Re-enlistment/Commissioning

While this is an understated affair without most of the pomp and circumstance, it is still an important event in every enlisted service member’s career. There is at least an officer, a flag and the person taking the oath. What makes this event special is the fact that there is a person who is willing to defend our country. If it is a re-enlistment, that person has again committed themselves to our nation.

Promotion

A promotion is an advance in rank and shows the ability of that person to perform at the next rank. The highlight is when the person has his or her rank pinned-on. Most kids have fun with this step, especially if they get to punch on the new rank. As with the previous event, the size can range from small to a huge party.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Graduation

There are various types of graduations out there in the military. For the enlisted side of the house, their first introduction into the ranks is graduation from Basic Training. Seeing those troops march across the parade field is a feeling like none other. And for those SOs, it may be the first time they are introduced to the military. Welcome!

Then there is graduation from various training schools. These are similar to a high school or college graduation in terms of speakers and walking across the stage to receive a diploma. I’m not trying to diminish the impact but it would help if you knew what to expect.

If you want something with more pizzazz, try to attend a service academy graduation. This is a multi-day celebration with parades, fly-overs, ceremonies, as well as the actual graduation. I’ve been lucky enough to see one before I was married, and I’ll have the privilege of attending another when my daughter graduates in 2019.

8 Events Every Military Spouse Should Experience At Least Once

Change of Command

I’m sorry to say that I hadn’t attended one of these until my spouse took command but I wish I had. It is extremely impressive to see all the troops lined up in the back of the room during the ceremony. Also, you get to hear all the great things that the people are doing in that environment as well as the history of the unit. And if you’re super lucky, there is a huge American flag hanging in the background. If that doesn’t make you sing your branch’s song louder, I don’t know what will.

Homecoming

Nothing says “military” like watching the troops come home. We’ve all seen the videos and the photos from these military homecomingsbut the emotion is palpable when there in person. My kids loved making signs for their dad. And the anticipation that the day was finally here was almost too much for them. It is exhilarating to see them come off their transport.

But don’t forget that you don’t need to have a loved one deployed to attend one. You can go and support those spouses or SOs who do. As an example, you can take photos of the event for them so they can concentrate on giving that person a big hug and kiss when they see them.

Socials

Many spouses will tell you that nothing fosters a sense of belonging in this spread out communitylike a social. These can range from coffees to unit events to straight up parties. This is a great way to meet and know others in the same boat. But don’t feel pressured to attend; there is no requirement to do so.

When I finally decided to attend an event, I stuck to my spouse like glue. It wasn’t until a few years later that I finally felt comfortable enough to spread my wings on my own. Just remember: if you would/wouldn’t do something in the civilian world, the same applies to military life.

Retirement

To me, this is the saddest/happiest occasion ever. It doesn’t matter if I knew the person or not. People come from near and far to celebrate the person who is retiring. Major events are recapped and then there can be a flag folding ceremony. This is where I lose it. As a spouse, you understand how lucky that person was to be receiving a flag while alive; you are grateful for that.

In spite of all the somberness, there can be levity too. This may come during the stories told about that person. I usually find that when the spouses come up to receive their retirement pin, they try to diffuse the situation. Once, I heard a spouse call to her husband at the end, “RTB!” Which means “return to base.” She was ready for her spouse to be home.

Military Ball/Dining Out

To counter the last number, you have to recognize that a military ballis something to behold. This is a chance for you to dress up in formal wear and enjoy a night out. There is a cocktail hour beforehand and dancing at the end. In between, there is eating, socializing and listening to the speaker. And having your spouse in uniform? I don’t know that there’s anything better.

Even though I’ve listed 8 events, there are, of course, many others to experience. They range from volunteering to visiting a military cemetery. You are a part of something bigger when you marry into the military so take advantage of the special opportunities you have. You’ll remember why your spouse is doing this and you may feel a part of it too.

What You Need to Know About Military Housing

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on February 16, 2018

So you decided you want to live in military base housing, huh?

Now that you’ve made the choice to live on base, you need to follow the procedures to make this rental home a reality. Use the information below to make this transition as smooth as possible.

What You Need To Know About Military Base Housing
Source: Langley Family Housing

The Smart Military Spouse’s Guide to Military Base Housing

You searched for “housing” and your new duty station and found some answers online. You realized that most locations have privatized housing. This translates into on-post neighborhoods with newer houses and this management company – not the military – is responsible for the daily upkeep of the homes. Some of the companies even have photos and walk-through tours on their websites.

Be ready to fill out a form (or two). This is something the service member will be able to do once you have PCS orders. Within 30 days of arrival, a DD Form 1746 should be completed. This is the application for an assignment for housing. On some privatized housing websites, you can complete this form online. Military spouses will need a power of attorney if the service member is deployed.

You need a copy of your orders to your new location that shows your detachment dates. Your service member’s LES (Leave and Earnings Statement) will tell the housing office what type of house you qualify for. You also need certification of your dependents (if you have them).

Each service has a different form to complete this requirement but a DEERS enrollment card or RED (Record of Emergency Data) will also suffice. The last official document needed is the form disclosing sexual offender status. Again, check with your service branch for specific forms.

What You Need To Know About Military Base Housing

Now you are put on a waitlist. This list is dependent on pay grade. The size and location of your house also depends on how many dependents you have. Unfortunately, this step can last a few days or a few years depending on your military installation. Don’t get discouraged. We all know that the military works in mysterious ways.

There are other aspects to the wait list that you must understand. Your eligibility date is based on your orders. A newly married service member’s date is determined by your legal wedding day.

New to the military and to married life? Your date is what you find on your Military Entrance Processing Date.

Again, you may not know many of these forms but that’s where your spouse or his chain of command can help.

Time has passed and you finally get the call that a house is available for you! You jump for joy and then set out to see the house. The representative from the housing office meets you there and they walk you around and answer any questions you have.

You step into the entrance and you see that there is no furniture. All of the houses are unfurnished. Then you walk into the kitchen and see a full array of appliances. These all stay. What a relief! Now you don’t have the added expense of that! Washers and dryersmay or may not come with the house, as this is dependent on the management company. As you move to the back of the house, you notice that some of the surrounding homes have fencesand some do not. This is not unusual either. Without a fence, the included lawn service takes care of your whole yard.

What other amenities are included? Utilitiesin unmetered houses. Otherwise, you will retain part of your BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) to pay that expense. This is true for the garbage collection as well. And, the housing representative tells you your rent is based on the rank of your service member. This is all so eye-opening. You complete your inspection and the person from the housing office asks if you’d like to take the house.

You have a choice in military base housing? Yes, you do.

If you pass on the first house, you still maintain your position on the wait list. You would then have to take the second house that they showed you or you would go to the bottom of the list.

But wait! Before you make that decision, you need to know about their pet policy. The representative tells you that you can have 2 or 3 pets depending on the management company overseeing your location. You look at your spouse with a twinkle in your eye; you can get another pet and still be in code! There are some breed restrictions as well as exotic pet bans but you can check with your representative at the housing office for that.

You decide to accept the house. Enjoy the community and the ease of living on base. It is an experience like no other and you will make memories that will last long after you leave the service. Maybe you’ll encourage others to do the same. After all, you have all of this information at your fingertips.