military life

Confession: I Hate Running

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on August 9, 2017

I hate running.

Let me say that again.

I hate running.

I know it’s a sin in some circles. And I’m not talking about a little venial sin. You know, the sins that don’t damn your soul. The ones where you go to confession and are absolved from it. No. I’m talking about the big daddy of them all; a cardinal sin. Some people I know would even include it in the 7 deadly sins. Runners take it that seriously.

I’ve heard it all:

“Running is great exercise.”

“The runner’s high is fabulous.”

“Everyone’s doing it.”

I know they are trying to be helpful but it makes me hate it all the more. Our service men and women have to run for PT. I get that. That’s forced on you whether you like it or not. And then there’s the Army or the Marine Corps marathons.  It’s woven into the fabric of their souls.

But to choose to run?  That’s where I draw the line.

Each year more and more of my military spouse friends are jumping on the running bandwagon. They start running groups on base. They post their training runs on Facebook. They Instagram themselves at the finish line of each race.

I even have a girlfriend who got lost during her first marathon. She ran farther than she had to because of it. That would’ve put me off forever.

There is that culture of running in the military so it makes sense that military spouses would feel the same way.

So every time there was a 5K on base or in town, and there’s always a race, spouses would start chattering about forming a team or signing up individually. For years I put them off. First off, I’m not an early bird. The only reason I woke up early was for my kids. And then let me tell you, I’m not a happy camper. And secondly (and most importantly), I hate running. I happily volunteered, but running? Nope.

Confession: I Hate Running

A few years ago, my daughter was getting ready to enter the Air Force Academy. As part of her prep work, she ran. She wanted me to join her but I used my usual tactics and put her off. Besides, I had functions to attend and I already walked the dog every morning. She reminded me that I walked the dog on a 5K loop but I wasn’t convinced.

Later that year, there was a 60th anniversary celebration for the Airborne Warning and Control System. Our wing was hosting various events and one of them happened to include a 5K color fun run. My daughter pestered me so much that I signed up with her. But the caveat was that I was going to WALK it while she ran.

Fast-forward to the day of the event. All morning long my daughter was reminding me that I already did a 5K daily. My comeback was always that I walked it and didn’t run it. I hated running. We lined up at the start and when the gun went off, so did we. My daughter encouraged me to run and I did.

I’ll be the first to admit that the peer pressure got to me.

I ran the whole thing.

And I did it without stopping.

Confession: I Hate Running

But hold the applause because I didn’t become a convert. There was no runner’s high and there was no sense of accomplishment. There was only annoyance that I was suckered into running.

Now, before you start scoffing at me, I’ve tried running at various points in my life.

When I was in high school, I joined the track team because I liked a boy. I was also overweight and I hoped that running would slim me down. I didn’t drop the weight and I eventually broke up with the boy.

In my 20s, I tried again. I got bored and annoyed so I stopped.

In my 30s, we adopted 2 pit bull mixes. I found that walking them twice a day wasn’t enough so I started running. I liked going in the woods but I didn’t like the running part.

Now, I run because I have tonot because I want to. Don’t misconstrue that statement. It’s not a “I run because my body craves it.” As I said before, I’ve never felt that runner’s high. All I feel is the pounding of my feet on the pavement and the lack of oxygen into my lungs.

Actually, I will use any excuse to not run.

I had a chemical peel? Can’t overheat.

I broke my toe? Oops. Stay away from running.

I run because I have dogs that need the exercise and walking isn’t enough for them. Even then, I find myself telling everyone that I’m “interval training.” What that meant to me was that I ran until I didn’t want to and then I walked.

Last year my brother told me that interval training was ideal for your heart. Seven minutes of running followed by 7 minutes of walking. So that is what I do now. And again, it’s not because I enjoy it. It’s because I have to do it for my dogs.

So don’t judge me.

I’ll never be that girl who runs for fun. I won’t even be a person who runs for the health benefits. I’ll be the cheerleader for the runners. Or I’ll volunteer to hand out water. And that’s how I’ll connect with my tribe.

My Service Member Will Tell You I’m the Reason He Stayed in the Air Force

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Originally published by NextGenMilSpouse on October 24, 2017

I told him no.

But to hear my husband retell the story he will say that I didn’t say “no” with a period. He’d reply that I said “no” with a capital N, a capital O and an exclamation point at the end.

He’s partially correct. I did succinctly answer that I didn’t want him to get out of the Air Forceafter our first assignment. But I only did that the first time he asked.

My Service Member Will Tell You I’m The Reason He Stayed In The Air Force

Each consecutive assignment found him asking once again:

“Should I stay or should I go?”

I had variations on my answer:

“Nope.”

“Not yet.”

“I’m still having fun.”

Because of my comments, my spouse will tell you that I’m the reason he stayed in the service for so long. But don’t let him fool you; he has been just as happy as I have.

Besides, I haven’t always told him no when it came to his career choices.

I blindly followed him when he saw an opportunity to move from Command Post to be a 13 Bravo. And let’s face it, I would have been justified if I said no. The move from command post to becoming a Command and Control officer was quick.

I was visiting my family in Connecticut when my spouse called to say he had an “opportunity.” He was able to go to training for the AWACS (Airborne Warning and Control System) right away, but he had to give them an answer NOW.

Hearing the whole story later, I realized that he was the one who initiated the call to change careers and had boldly told the personnel officer that his “wife would be OK with it or she could stay in Nebraska.”

Granted, that was bravado but…

He moved and I followed him a month later.

My Service Member Will Tell You I’m The Reason He Stayed In The Air Force

When he wanted to go to Weapons School, I told him to pursue his dreams. But I gave him a caveat: he had to wait until our daughter was 1½. He’d been deployed and TDY for most of both children’s childhood and I didn’t think I could handle one more separation that wasn’t ordered by the Air Force.

I continued to say “yes” but now with over 20 years in uniform we are at a crossroads. My service member is thinking about retirement.

Should we stay or should we go?

He continually asks me what I want to do but I don’t think I can respond. To me, it is his question to answer.

If we stay, what assignment are we willing to take? The correct answer should be that we will take any assignment. But let’s face it, there are probably some that would make us 7-day opt. Just hearing “7-day opt” instills fear.

We all know that we are supposed to be planning for retirementlong before we get to the 20-year point but you always question if it is enough. Not only that, but the thought of being without a job is scary.

If we stay, can we try to get a job that we want?

More than likely, the answer is no. But a girl can dream, can’t she? I would love to take an assignment overseas again. Who wouldn’t? For me, the next best option would be to remain in the D.C. area.

My spouse isn’t sure what he would like to be. He would like to serve in a capacity where he can utilize what he has learned. But he also needs to figure out what comes after he retires. So you see, the next stages of our lives are intertwined. We’d hope that the next assignment could set us up for retirement.

If he wants to teach, he can apply to do so at the National Defense University here in D.C. Or does he want to work in industry after he retires? Then he can try for a job down at Langley AFB. Maybe he would like to continue to serve his government in a civilian capacity. If that’s the case, he should try to stay here and continue to work at the Pentagon. Too many options for me!

And if he wants to go?

He continually asks me where I’d like to live. He comments that this would help him decide what to do. I’ve given him 3 locations, but my response is that the job will dictate where we reside. He looks at it the other way: decide on a location and then look for a job.

We go around in circles over this. Neither of us is ready to quit on military lifebut who knows what the service has planned for us.

I would love the chance to be involved with my community once again and the Pentagon doesn’t offer that opportunity. My husband loves interacting with the troops. But again, at what capacity and is it even possible?

All I know is that I don’t think I’m ready to leave. Am I ready to stay? I don’t know that either. An answer needs to be given soon.

Come December we have to say if we are all in or not. Ask me again then. Maybe I’ll have an answer for you.